CarrieFairfield.com members and supporters,

I would like to address all of you regarding recent actions taken by the administrators of the site. Quite a few of you know me personally. I have worked very hard over the past two years supporting the site with my sister Carrie Fairfield, and we have had our fair share of obstacles. In my travels, I have met some great people and networked for the site and for my own goals. During the most stressful times, it has been hard to prevent my personal life from overlapping with the goals of the site.

Events stemming from the Miss Gay USofA 2004 pageant have put me on the defensive and opened my personal life up to much scrutiny. Since the beginning of this site, never have I felt this much intrusion into my actions, both real actions and those imagined by others. I don't regret my involvement with USofA Pageants over the past 2 years. I have no reason to be ashamed of anything that happened during the pageant, and I will continue to be active and visible within the system and the world of female impersonation. People will always say that opinions and outside events affect the judging, but never before has a judge been discharged during Miss Gay USofA. The fallout from that week has been enormous and quite a few personal and professional relationships have been severed. I support the actions of Jerry Bird and Lou Haskell in quickly handling such a difficult issue. I feel confident that we picked the right winner on Friday night, and I know that my scores and my behavior were appropriate and fair throughout the week.

Anytime there is drama, there are always people who get "caught up" in it, either by choice or accident. Each person has their own reasons for getting involved. Some people attack in an effort to deflect criticism or attention from their own actions. Others defend their friends and themselves from negativity. There are always a few bystanders who will jump in to stir the pot and enjoy the fireworks. I have been guilty of this in the past, and I apologize to all our members for using CarrieFairfield.com as a stage for my personal drama these past two weeks. Even though there were several other actors on that stage with me, I must accept personal responsibility for my actions as a long-time staff member. While several personal attacks and falsehoods were made publicly against me, I felt it was necessary to open my actions and personal life up for inspection to show that I have nothing to hide. However, there is always a better way to defend oneself than playing the game as negatively as your opponents.

I assure you that I am not bitter about the actions of the CF.com staff. Trust and believe! Jonathan and I are still sisters and nothing will ever change that, nor will any outside forces wreck such a long and valued friendship. My impatience in waiting for the staff to take actions to resolve the recent drama on the site only perpetuated my anger and resulted in several members being banned, including my own suspension from the staff position. I should have been more deliberate and respectful to the wishes of my fellow staff members, who are more than capable of making the right decisions to uphold the integrity of the site. I believe it was more than justified for Jonathan and Scott to take action against me for the wrongs I have committed, in order to show everyone that fairness must reign supreme above ego, friendship, or emotion. I can't control what other people think about me, and people will believe either truth or lies. I know in my heart what is right for my life, and I failed to take my own advice and be "better instead of bitter".

To those who have expressed concerns for my well-being, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for thinking of me. The past couple of months have been stressful times of change, and I'm hoping that the storm will soon pass. CarrieFairfield.com is a wonderful place to be, and I will always support the site and its staff. Regardless of what the future holds for me or for CarrieFairfield.com, your kindness to me will not be forgotten. To everyone who is devoted to the site and believes in the open exchange of information and ideas in the world of female impersonation, please keep up the faith and "Carrie On, Children!"

Much love,

Kevin Neaves